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Demons and Angels in My Life

I want you to do something for me. Close your eyes and imagine living your life knowing that EVERYONE around you wants you to fail. That each and every person you open yourself to plots to stop you from achieving goals in your life. That any ounce of happiness has to be taken away from you because they don’t want you to be happy. I know right now, if you took that quick 30 sec to imagine that, a name or two popped up in my mind.

For me, 6 names popped up. Right off the top of my head - SIX. One, two, three, four, five and six people who maliciously came into my life with intentions of robbing me of any thing that I can gain for myself, whether it’s my time, my connections, my experience and even my money. These demons came into my life the same way they come into your lives – as friends. Snakes, wolves and vultures wearing sheep clothing. Gutter snipes, as Iyanla like to call them. I prefer to call them demons. I know right now you’re thinking I'm going to do either three things: 1. You know I’m talking about you and fear that I will name you AND tell the world what you have done to me. OR 2. Wondering who I’m referring to and is ready to share this blog with who you KNOW I’m talking about. OR 3. Take the high road and turn the other cheek because that’s the Christian thing to do. Welp, you can forget about option 3. I will NEVER claim to be a 100% Christian when I’m about a 76.2%. I’m not a hypocrite and do not live my life as one.

Although 2 out of the 6 gutter snipes I’m talking about do. And they’re BOTH females. Not ladies or grown-ass women. Just females. There’s nothing Christ-like about those two lying-ass, gutter snipes. I’m actually taking one of them to court as we speak. But that’s another blog for another day. Option 1 or 2? Let’s just say, I keep the streets talking.

Anyhoo. I came across this video of Kevin Hart’s reaction to finding out that his extortionist is one of his closest friends who was by his side as Kevin was building his career and brand. His close friend who he trusted with his life. Who he brought along with him as his friend was riding easy on Kevin’s back. And to turn around and try to extort Kevin, my goodness. When I heard about this, I thought of one of my latest gutter snipes as well. This fake-ass Christian have all the world around us thinking she’s some kind of Christian virgin when she’s more like the whore of Babylon.

So, Kevin’s extortionist took the time and effort to hurt Kevin because he was so jealous of Kevin’s come-up which means he was ALWAYS jealous of Kevin from day one. How can you call yourself a FRIEND when you have done ABSOLUTLY NOTHING to help build a brand but when you DO contribute, it’s to hurt your friend who have done NOTHING but help you like you’re a damn dependent he can claim on his taxes. And once the truth comes out, he’s playing victim like a princess in a damn Disney movie!?! GTFOH Charlemagne said it best, “an open enemy is better than a false friend.”

People, you have to be honest with yourself and accept that these types of demons are REAL!! And they’re IN YOUR CIRCLE! Once you’re honest about it, do NOT be ashamed about the hurt and pain that they have caused. You’re human and have feelings that matter. I am human and have feelings that matter. Any demon who aims to hurt me when they KNOW my heart and efforts is to help THEM win, the karma God has planned for them is better than ANYTHING I can make happen. And the “friends” who stand by and watch this happen to you and do absolutely nothing are NOT friends. They never cared about you. Accept that. It’s hard to swallow, but it’s true. All I stay focused on now are my projects, my cases and my family and I continue to pray to God to keep my temper under control.

When I saw this post from Tami Roman, I felt like she was talking DIRECTLY to me.

You see why I thought she was talking directly to me? SPEAK THAT TRUTH, TAMI!!

Now, how do we heal? It’s different for everyone, honestly. Some people redirect the energy, some ignore it and pretend it never happened, some dwell in the pain and let me manifest into a life of its own. I chose to redirect. I don’t believe in the “forgive and forget” theory. Sorry, not sorry, pastor. Like I said, I’m a 76.2% Christian. I DO believe in revenge and holding grudges. But I have more faith in karma to not seek revenge in the way I would plan. People say it helps you heal to forgive someone who has hurt you and although that may be true, it’s not true for EVERYBODY. You can’t forgive a person who actually believes using you out of spite is a good thing to do.

Demons do not possess remorse. When you’re dealing with a selfish demon, they will NEVER admit to what they have done to you. What they WILL do? Invest time and energy into talking bad about you to anyone who will listen so that people don’t know what they did to you. They will try to attack you physically and/or verbally and make up accusations to justify their actions. THOSE DEMONS EXIST IN YOUR LIFE. You have to admit that to yourself. Especially those you are hard workers like I am and have the means to achieve EVERYTHING you have on your vision boards. You have to be careful with how much you share and who you share with. You can’t even share all of your achievements because those demons don’t want you to succeed, they want it for themselves. You have to learn to keep your plans to yourself. Because 9 times out of 10, they want to know your plans just to try to stop you from achieving those plans. They want to make YOUR plans their own.

If you have a day one, do-or-die friend/sister/brother/cousin/partner, and you KNOW they will fight the devil himself for you, hold on to them for dear life. Those do-or-die’s are God’s gifts. Blessings in human form – angels. They will always be there for you because they genuinely care and love you. Angels want you to win and don’t expect anything in return. Angels are happy when you are happy. Angels are the ones who will talk you off the ledge, not push you over and gossip about it. When you know you have one of those angels, you hold on to them with every part of your being. Because your life depends on it.

But what happens when you come to a place of peace and one of your past gutter snipes seeks forgiveness from you? What do you do? I don’t know. I really don't. I know for me, I am always open to anyone who is mature enough to come to me to apologize. What I am NOT open to is for anyone to make me feel like what has been done to me is no big deal. If a person wants to apologize to me, I hear them out. But I am not that idiot who will make it easy for them. I’m not saying make it hard for them either. But don’t be an idiot about it. I’ll always remember, that person is an abuser who enjoyed hurting me and using me. One of the 6 demons in my life, she apologized to me 3 separate times at work. I forgave her all 3 times which I regret because every time I forgave her, she went back to doing the same fucked up shit she's been doing AND MORE. Each and every time I accepted her apology, she made me regret it. So, where do you think she lies with me now? When she sees me at work, she tries to speak when supervisors are around to play victim in front of them because when they're NOT around, she don't say shit! I don't play fake for anybody and if I have to play fake, I remain silent. Yes, it's rude, but it's real. And I only choose to do that because cameras are on me.

Now, if I was to have a conversation with one of those 6 demons, I can only hope it will turn out as smoothly as the Red Table Talk conversation between Jada Pinkett-Smith and Gabrielle Union-Wade. Jada and Gabrielle were known rivals for no damn reason but they made the conscious decision to sit down and talk. It was beautiful. It was honest. It was so incredible to witness these queens become vulnerable to each other with the desire to close and resolve any issues they THOUGHT they had with each other. To only find out, their issues were not with each other, it was with themselves. Check it out:

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